http://bipolarblog.org Wed, 26 May 2010 22:52:08 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en The Parnate is really helping me-- Right now I'm on 1 tablet Parnate in the morning (can take two more during the day as needed) 40 mg Geodon at night 200 mg Lamictal at night (knocks me out) 1 mg Klonopin to sleep (also helps with anxiety during the day)   http://bipolarblog.org/2010/05/26/improvement/ Back on Parnate since Friday, and hoping for the best.  It's really been the only med that's been able to bring me out of suicidal thoughts, excepting Abilify, which I don't want to be on because of weight gain.  We'll see how it goes. http://bipolarblog.org/2010/05/23/parnate/ I had a major breakdown after work today--just ceaselessly crying because of a mistake I'd made at a meeting.  During the entire meeting I was having those paranoid delusions that everyone's comments were hostile and directed at me.  (e.g. the teacher doing the presentation mentioned that it was my idea ... http://bipolarblog.org/2010/05/20/cycling-or-stress/ I've noticed every time I have to make a transition at school (start teaching something new), I start to feel overwhelmed and extremely anxious.  I doubt my own ability and have so much work to do.  There's only a few weeks of school left and yet I'm feeling overcome by fear ... http://bipolarblog.org/2010/05/16/transitions/ Posed the idea of going back on Parnate to my doctor yesterday, and instead he suggested we increase my Lamictal to 100 mg for 4-5 days, and then 200 mg after that.  Hope it doesn't have an effect on my weight. I am feeling better now that I'm trying to sleep ... http://bipolarblog.org/2010/05/12/med-increase/ My husband always tells me "It's Monday," whenever I complain about the day I've had at the beginning of the week.  Well, it was one of those days.  My students' results from the High School Exit Exam came in today, I guess, and even though I haven't managed to figure ... http://bipolarblog.org/2010/05/10/monday/ I actually had a really great night last night (drinking some red wine helped a lot)--went swimming and spent a romantic evening with my husband.  Today I woke up to roses and Mother's Day cards from my husband and kids--very sweet. I will probably spend the rest of the day with ... http://bipolarblog.org/2010/05/09/feeling-better/ I did see my therapist on Friday, and she commiserated with me--told me I seemed depressed (duh!), and suggested that my medications aren't really working the way they should.  She said she would connect with my doctor prior to my appointment just to update him on how she perceives that ... http://bipolarblog.org/2010/05/08/latest/ Lately I've been having fleeting suicidal thoughts--no plans of action or anything serious like that--just wishing I were dead and watching Forensic Files and thinking "Hey, I could just poison myself.  I wonder how easy it is to get cyanide?"  Again, I would never do it (because of not wanting ... http://bipolarblog.org/2010/05/07/lately/ Although I know it's probably not a good idea, I'm messing with my medicine.  I want to keep track of how I'm feeling, and whether I notice a change in my appetite due to the changes I'm making with meds.  Yesterday I was having some obsessive thoughts about this stupid ... http://bipolarblog.org/2010/05/05/spinning-my-wheels/